That that love does not die, is a myth. The relationship can be consumed without you realizing it, especially because it must be watered like a little plant so that every day it grows and nourishes itself. Do not forget that falling in love in the early stages of your relationship is something temporary, very cute, very passionate and full of sighs, but temporary. If you are going through a crisis in your relationship, it is time to give it a little light and life, that depends on both of you being rescued as a couple and a team. So look at these tips that I share with you.
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True, real love, the one that lasts, is cared for because it is built by choice and goes far beyond chemistry and sighs. In the beginning when the two of you were so in love and didn’t want to be apart for a second, it was just that, infatuation, a transitory phase that gives way to what’s next, real love, so don’t linger in the past.
1. Reread the old good old letters and look at pictures of your history as a couple
The saying goes that remembering is living and it is true. Reliving experiences also awakens emotions. So plan a conversation that connects you to the most important and beautiful moments you have had in the history of your relationship. This can secure a new meaning.
2. Put aside the obsession to be right, listen with real empathy
This is the most difficult but it is not impossible . If you think that love is dying due to a crisis, the problem is really in your expectations of the relationship. It is beneficial for you to understand that wisdom is required and not idealize love.
3. Neither victim, nor rescuer, nor persecutor of your partner, these attitudes kill love
“Poor me” is the typical thought of a person who is a victim and does nothing to get out of the situation. Instead, you are rescuer when you become his mother and solve life for him. While the persecutor wants to control everything.
4. Put pride aside and accept that there are things that you must also change
When I give couples therapy I always tell my patients that the relationship is a shared responsibility. It is not a story of good or bad, of victims and victimizers. To be successful, it is important that each one takes charge of their part.
5. Even if you are angry with him, do not underestimate his details, do not let the resentment blind you
If your anger prevents you from seeing the small or great efforts that he could be making, it is most likely that you will change the focus of reality and only the negative of the relationship comes to your eyes. So you have to be objective.
6. Use your partner as a mirror, crises indicate what you have to transform in yourself
Being patient, giving up control or even learning to love yourself more, are some of the lessons that you can live through your partner. He is not your enemy , he is your teacher and it is up to you to grow together overcoming the defects that damage the relationship.
7. Ask for professional advice, do not get carried away by the opinions of others
It is very difficult for someone close to you to give you an objective opinion of the situation. It is healthy to vent and feel heard, however, when it comes to a decision that will define the future of your relationship, it is best that you seek a professional couples counselor.